Disrupt: Doubt

What is doubt really? Uncertainty, sure. Lack of confidence, sometimes. How about a lack of conviction?

I believe that doubt in speaking is something else altogether. Doubt can be an expression of trying to make yourself smaller, perhaps even invisible.

Consider this scenario, you work hard and fight your way onto a committee. You are ecstatic that people will finally get to know you and what you know. Then, at your first opportunity to address the group, you spend the first 5 minutes apologizing for taking up space as you try to show your brilliance. You survive it but no one walks away knowing what makes you exceptional. What happened?

We can point to nerves, lack of preparation, or potentially, an apathetic environment but those factors could only throw us because of what comes before all of that. We are all creations of our upbringing. If you were raised to avoid conflict at any cost, and haven't addressed it in adulthood, you still avoid conflict. If you learned to conform at any cost, the same thing. Even if you rebelled against every constraint in your past, you may be surprised to see them working in your present.

The disruption today is hard but simple. Take an honest look at what you are telling yourself about yourself in public spaces. Who do you really believe yourself to be? What limiting judgments or beliefs about yourself have you adopted as true? Importantly, this work isn't for public consumption it is truth-time for you alone. It isn't necessary that you remember exactly when you learned a behavior. It is important that you call out all the lies and self-limiting beliefs.

Sunlight is truly the best disinfectant. Time to rock the boat.